Forgiveness & Reconciliation

Following the Example of Jesus

• Romans 8:29-29 — A major part of God’s plan for our lives is to help us become more like Jesus (conformed to his image).
• One important (but challenging) way we are called to imitate Jesus is by forgiving others when they sin against us and working towards reconciliation. 
• If this feels hard, remember that God equips us with the strength, grace, and patience we need to forgive people in a way we’d never be able to do on our own. 
• See: 2 Timothy 3:16-17; 2 Peter 1:3; Luke 18:27.

We Forgive Others Because God Forgave Us.

If we stop to consider what God did for us when we sinned against him, we’ll be more likely to forgive others when they sin against us. 

Scripture: Matthew 6:12-15— We shouldn’t expect to receive God’s forgiveness if we’re not willing to forgive others. See also Matt. 18:21-25 (Parable of the Unmerciful Servant).

Scripture: Ephesians 4:31-32— We must forgive others just like God forgave us in Christ.

Scripture: Romans 5:6-11

• What did God do for us when we sinned against him? He sent Jesus to die for us while we were still sinners and enemies. 

We Are Saved by Jesus’ Undeserved Sacrifice for our Sins

• Jesus died for us even though we didn’t deserve it. That is unmerited grace.
• Our salvation is only possible because of his death, burial, and resurrection. 
• His sacrifice also inspires us to forgive others even when they don’t deserve it. After all, we didn’t deserve forgiveness, but God offered it anyway.

C.S. Lewis: “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

Joseph Forgives His Brothers

Scripture: Genesis 45:3-15

Joseph’s brothers committed inexcusable sins, but he chose to forgive them anyway.

• Spoke kindly to them (gracious words).
• Invited them into his inner circle.
• Generously provided for their needs.

Joseph was able to demonstrate grace because he chose to view his life from God’s perspective. Instead of thinking vindictively about how to get even, he thought redemptively about how God could use him to bless others and save lives.

Because of this, Joseph was willing to forgive his brothers and reconcile with them.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness — Letting go of the bitterness we feel towards people who have wronged us.

• A personal decision you can make on your own, regardless of whether or not the other person apologizes. 

Reconciliation: Restoring harmony to a relationship that has been damaged by unresolved conflict.

• Requires two people who are willing to do the work.

Reconciliation Requires Two People Who Are Committed to Doing the Work.

• An offender who is willing to repent and move forward.
• A victim who is willing to forgive and move forward. 
• God’s desire is for reconciliation to take place, if at all possible (Luke 15, Prodigal Son). 

Reconciliation: Three Principles

1. You are fully responsible for your role in the reconciliation process. No one can do your work for you.

• Both the victims (Matthew 18:15-17) and offenders (Matthew 5:23-24) can take the initiative to pursue reconciliation.  
• You are fully in control of whether or not you choose to repent and/or forgive. 

2. You are only in control of your part in the reconciliation process. You cannot force someone to repent, forgive, or reconcile.

• Scripture: Romans 12:18

3. Mature Christians do their work to confess, repent, or forgive, even if the other side doesn’t.

• We choose to forgive / repent / because God demands it, even if the other person refuses to do their work.  

Joseph’s Final Blessing

Scripture: Genesis 50:19-21.

• Reiterates his forgiveness, grace, and commitment to providing for his brothers.

Call to Action

1. Do everything in your power to pursue reconciliation (repent, forgive, etc.), regardless of the other person’s response.
2. Don’t just treat others the way you want to be treated; treat others the way Christ has treated you.

Study and Reflection:

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” –Lewis Smedes

Read: Matthew 18:10-20

1. This passage contains two sections: One about a lost sheep, and one about resolving conflict. Can you think of anything that these stories have in common? 
2. Today’s sermon emphasizes the fact that we can forgive others because Jesus forgave us. How does the story of the lost sheep connect with that message?
3. Jesus instructs us to try to resolve our conflicts with other people privately and directly. Why is that the best approach? Why is it hard to practice this approach?
4. Jesus says that wherever two or more are gathered, he is there with them. This is said in the context of finding lost sheep and resolving conflict. How can Jesus be present with us in our conflicts? How would that change our actions or attitudes?

Now Read: Matthew 18:21-35

5. What is Jesus’ main point in this parable, and how does it connect to the two previous passages (sheep, conflict)?
6. What is holding you back from being a more forgiving person? Are there any lies or half-truths from the Devil that are clouding your attitude about forgiveness?
7. In your own words, what is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation? Is there anyone that God has placed on your heart today that you think you might need to forgive, ask forgiveness from, or reconcile with? Pray about how you can begin that process.
8. What was one thing you will take with you after hearing this sermon and reading these passages?