Gods perfect plan for Marriage

May 24, 2026   /   Oasis Community Church

God’s Perfect Plan for Marriage

The world says:

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“God’s way works 100% of the time when two people are willing to do it His way.”

  • Marriage Was Created by God
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Genesis 2:18 “It is not good that man should be alone.”

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The enemy attacks marriage because marriage reflects the nature of God:

  • covenant
  • unity
  • faithfulness
  • love

Healthy marriages build:

  • healthy families
  • healthy churches
  • healthy communities
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We improve marriage by returning to the Designer.

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Ephesians 5: 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” e 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

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5:21 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

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Men and women are equal in value and purpose before God. We just have different marital roles.

Marriage works when two people submit themselves to Jesus first.

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Most marriage problems are not really marriage problems.
They are lordship problems.

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Marriage flourishes when:

  • humility enters
  • grace enters
  • Jesus becomes central
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God’s Roles Bring Order, Not Inferiority

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Ephesians 5:22–25 “Wives, submit to your own husbands… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church…”

But God’s design is not about superiority. It’s about divine order.

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The husband’s responsibility:

  • lead spiritually
  • protect lovingly
  • sacrifice willingly
  • nurture faithfully

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

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The wife’s responsibility:

  • honor
  • respect
  • support
  • trust God’s order
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Biblical submission is not weakness. It is strength surrendered to God.

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  • When we operate and live in our roles in marriage it makes us attractive to one another and opens our hearts to each other.
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1 pet 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

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Now we see the power of respect…

1 Pet 3: Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

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  • Number 1 need of a man is Respect
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Respect is so powerful to a man that we will change our behavior for it. 

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If you are speaking truth, you are not alone.  The Holy Spirit is working with you on your spouse.

Respect makes you attractive.

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  • The number one need of a woman is Security.
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Women want a selfish, sacrificial man who is in tune with her and will take care of her sacrificially.

Eph 5: 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

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  • Nourish: to feed to maturity
  • Cherish: to keep warm.

Satan has been working since the beginning to destroy the unity that God established.

Womens go to temptation is relational independence.

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Mens go to temptation is pacifity.

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Eph 5 closes the door on the devil and crucifies our sin nature.

What do we do now…..

  • The Greatest Way to Change Your Marriage Is to Change Yourself
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You cannot force your spouse to grow.
But you can surrender yourself to God.

  • We hear best when our spouse is speaking our language.
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When a women is respecting her husband he hears best.  When a Man is bringing security through love she hears the best so we can practice what is taught

Ephesians 4:15 “Speaking the truth in love…”

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Healthy marriages require communication.

 

God’s Plan Is Better Than Culture’s Alternatives

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The world offers many alternatives to covenant:

    There Is Hope for Every Marriage

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      Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

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      No marriage is beyond redemption when people humble themselves before God.

      God’s plan for marriage still works.

      When:

      • Jesus is Lord
      • husbands love sacrificially
      • wives honor respectfully
      • both people die to selfishness
      • both pursue God together

      Marriage becomes:

      • healthy
      • joyful
      • healing
      • powerful

      A healthy marriage becomes a living picture of Christ and His church.

       

       

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