Marriage Matters: Building a Marriage Shaped by Christ

1. Marriage begins with humility. (3:12)
   1. “Humility is the very first letter in the alphabet of Christianity. We must begin low, if we want to build high.” JC Ryle 
2. Marriage Should Be Surrounded By Grace (1:2; 4:23)
3. Marriage is Guarded by Prayer 
4. Marriage moves forward in Partnership 
5. Marriage is Strengthened by Joy. 
6. Marriage is Undermined by Selfishness (2:3-4) 
7. Marriage is Shaped by Christlike Love (2:5-11) 

Discussion Questions:

1. Humility (Philippians 3:12)

Paul says, “I have not arrived.”
Where is it hardest for you to admit you’re still in process, especially in close relationships?

2. Humility in Conflict

Think about your last disagreement (married or not).
Did you approach it more from a posture of humility or defensiveness? What might humility have changed?

3. Grace (Philippians 1:2; 4:23)

What does “surrounding a marriage with grace” actually look like in daily life?
Where is it hardest for you to extend grace right now?

4. Forgiveness & Scorekeeping

Are there any “quiet ledgers” you’re keeping — past hurts, repeated frustrations, patterns of disappointment?
What would it mean to release those in light of the gospel?

5. Prayer & Peace (Philippians 4:6–7)

When stress rises in your home, what is your reflex:  talk it out, shut down, react, or pray?
How could prayer become more central in your relationship?

6. Gospel Partnership (Philippians 1:3–5; 1:21; 1:25)

If someone observed your relationship for a month, what would they say your shared mission is?
Is Christ clearly at the center, or is something else driving decisions?

7. Spiritual Progress

Paul lived for the “progress and joy” of others in Christ.
How can you intentionally contribute to your spouse’s (or closest relationships’) spiritual growth this season?

8. Joy (Philippians 4:4; 4:11–13)

Joy is learned.
What habits or patterns have helped you cultivate joy in hard seasons?
Where has cynicism begun to creep in?

9. Selfishness (Philippians 2:3–4)

Where does selfishness show up most subtly in your relationships: tone, time, expectations, control, silence?
What would “counting the other more significant” look like practically this week?

10. Christlike Love (Philippians 2:5–11)

What part of Christ’s example — humility, service, obedience, sacrifice:  challenges you most right now?
What is one concrete act of Christlike love you can practice this week?