“Realities of Toxic Relationships”

Proverbs 22:24-25
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, 25) or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” (NIV)

I. Specification regarding Toxic Relationships
Listed below are some of the most common toxic relationships.

1. – This is a relationship in which
one person consistently exerts power, and control over another through harmful behaviors, which can be physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, or financial.
Exodus 5:6-9
“That same day Pharaoh sent this order to the Egyptian slave drivers and the Israelite foremen: 7) “Do not supply any more straw for making bricks. Make the people get it themselves! 8) But still require them to make the same number of bricks as before. Don’t reduce the quota. They are lazy. That’s why they are crying out, ‘Let us go and offer sacrifices to our God.’ 9) Load them down with more work. Make them sweat! That will teach them to listen to lies!” (NLT)

2. – This is a relationship when
two people view each other as rivals rather than teammates, often trying to outdo or one up each other, instead of supporting one another.
1 Samuel 18:6-11
“When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. 7) This was their song:
“Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” 8) This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” 9) So from that
time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 10) The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, 11) and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice.” (NLT)

3. – This is a relationship when one person holds all the power and authority, making decisions for the other without consent and expecting compliance with their rules or demands.
3 John 1:9-10
“I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us. 10) When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church.” (NLT)

4. – This is a relationship in which
an individual consistently tries to influence, control, or change the other person’s thoughts, feelings or behaviors, often using dishonest, emotional, or cohesive tactics for their own benefit or to maintain power over an individual.
Judges 16:15-19
“Then Delilah pouted, “How can you tell me, ‘I love you,’ when you don’t share your secrets with me? You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!” 16) She tormented him with her nagging day after day until he was sick to death of it.17) Finally, Samson shared his secret with her. “My hair has never been cut,” he confessed, “for I was dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as anyone else.” 18) Delilah realized he had finally told her the truth, so she sent for the Philistine rulers. “Come back one more time,” she said, “for he has finally told me his secret.” So the Philistine rulers returned with the money in their hands. 19) Delilah lulled Samson to sleep with his head in her lap, and then she called in a man to shave off the seven locks of his hair. In this way she began to bring him down, and his strength left him.” (NLT)

5. – This is a relationship in which individuals possess an excessive sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a profound lack of emapthy for others.
Daniel 3:1-6
“King Nebuchadnezzar made a gold statue ninety feet tall and nine feet wide and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2) Then he sent messages to the high officers, officials, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates, and all the provincial officials to come to the dedication of the statue he had set up. 3) So all these officials came and stood before the statue King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. 4) Then a herald shouted out, “People of all races and nations and languages, listen to the king’s command! 5) When you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes, and other musical instruments, bow to the ground to worship King Nebuchadnezzar’s gold statue. 6) Anyone who refuses to obey will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.” (NLT)

II. Examination of Toxic Relationships
Listed below are some common traits of toxic relationships.

1. – Behavior that causes pain or suffering to a person.
Genesis 37:4, 8, 23-24
“When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than he loved them, they hated their brother and could not speak to him politely. 8) His brothers said, “Do you really think you will be king over us? Do you truly think you will rule over us?” His brothers hated him even more because of his dreams and what he had said. 23) So when Joseph came to his brothers, they pulled off his robe with long sleeves 24) and threw him into the well. It was empty, and there was no water in it.” (NCV)

2. – Rude or unsociable speech or behavior.
1 Kings 12:10-12
“The young men replied, “This is what you should tell those complainers who want a lighter burden: ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist! 11) Yes, my father laid heavy burdens on you, but I’m going to make them even heavier!
My father beat you with whips, but I will beat you with scorpions!’” 12) Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to hear Rehoboam’s decision, just as the king had ordered.” (NLT)

3.– Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
Genesis 29:31-34
“When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive. 32) So Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “The Lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me.” 33) She soon became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She named him Simeon, for she said, “The Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me another son.” 34) Then she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named Levi, for she said, “Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons!” (NLT)

4. – Lack of concern for others’ feelings.
Luke 10:30-32
“Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. 31) “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32) A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.” (NLT)

5. – The expression of criticism or pessimism about something.
Numbers 14:1-4
“Then the whole community began weeping aloud, and they cried all night. 2) Their voices rose in a great chorus of protest against Moses and Aaron. “If only we had died in Egypt, or even here in the wilderness!” they complained. 3) “Why is the Lord taking us to this country only to have us die in battle? Our wives and our little ones will be carried off as plunder! Wouldn’t it be better for us to return to Egypt?” 4) Then they plotted among themselves, “Let’s choose a new leader and go back to Egypt!” (NLT)

III. Liberation from Toxic Relationships
Listed below are practices that can help individuals overcome toxicity in relationships.

1. Individuals can overcome toxicity in relationships through .
2 Timothy 3:16
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” (NLT)

2. Individuals can overcome toxicity in relationships through .
Psalm 1:1
“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.” (NIV)

3. Individuals can overcome toxicity in relationships through .
Luke 2:36-37
“There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, 37) and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying.” (NIV)

4. Individuals can overcome toxicity in relationships through .
Acts 14:19-20
“Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead. 20) But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city. The next day he and Barnabas left for Derbe.” (NIV)

5. Individuals can overcome toxicity in relationships through .
Proverbs 19:20
“Listen to advice and accept correction, and in the end you will be wise.” (NCV)

IV. Consultation about Toxic Relationships
Please list the best advice you ever received about relationships and/or what advice you would offer to someone in a toxic relationship.

EXAMPLES:
Best Advice You Have Received About Relationships
• Don’t stay where you are not wanted.
• Peace alone is better than good looking company.
Best Advice You Would Offer About Relationships
• Love yourself enough for a group of people.
• If loving them is wrong, choose to be right.

A. Best Advice You Have Received About Relationships

1.  (MULTILINE)

2. (MULTILINE)

B. Best Advice You Would Offer About Relationships

1. (MULTILINE)

2. (MULTILINE)