Relationships – Guardrails & Electric Fences

Relationships will either bless or curse our lives.

Of the Ten Commandments, the first four (and maybe five) commandments address our relationship with ___________

The remaining commandments address our relationships with ___________

Are some sins more destructive to our relationships than others? __________

How might coveting lead to damaged relationships? ____________________________________

Establishing guardrails keeps us from wrong actions.

Regarding internal sins of the heart as electric fences arrests our wrong thoughts and desires before they can become wrong actions.

Mat 5:21-22 ESV  “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’  (22)  But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

Mat 5:27-28 ESV  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  (28)  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Lust, while an internal sin, has a helpful guardrail: Job 31:1 NIV  “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.”

If you want to avoid being bitten by a rattlesnake, don’t pick one up and play with it!

Paul lists other internal sins (sins of the will, mind, and heart):

Gal 5:19-21 ESV  Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,  (20)  idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,  (21)  envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Unforgiveness

Matt 6:9-15 ESV  Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.  (10)  Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  (11)  Give us this day our daily bread,  (12)  and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  (13)  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  (14)  For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,  (15)  but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Does our unforgiveness of others nullify God’s grace? _______________

The mark of our having received grace is our offering grace to others!

Eph 6:5-9 ESV  Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,  (6)  not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,  (7)  rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,  (8)  knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.  (9)  Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

If you are an employee, are you working for your employer just as you would work for Christ?

If you are an employer, are you treating your employees like someone who knows they will have to answer to God for way they treat and compensate their employees.

Eph 5:24-28 ESV  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.  (25)  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  (26)  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  (27)  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  (28)  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Do you think the husband, or the wife has the harder Biblical task? _____________________

Guardrails for Marriage:

• Never threaten or use violence
• Never use insults
• Never bring up again what you supposedly forgave
• Never use the word “Divorce” in a disagreement.
• Never go to bed angry.
• Forgive each other freely and quickly.
• Do something kind for your spouse every day.

Remember that love in Holy Scripture is mostly a decision and actions.

Parenting:

Col 3:20-21 ESV  Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  (21)  Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Guardrails for Parenting:

Now, there are some helpful guardrails for parenting:

• Don’t insult your children, even in jest.
• Don’t use demeaning nicknames for them.
• Don’t publicly embarrass your children.

To do these things crushes their hearts!

• Let your discipline be commensurate both with the offence and with the personality of your child.
• Then, intentionally tell your kids the good you see in them (because you’re going to do the other automatically).

Dating Guardrails:

• Deciding not to hold hands,
• Deciding not to kiss,
• And, deciding not to be in a room alone together before marriage.

Conclusion:

God cares about our relationships because relationships are the most important things we have in our earthly lives. The quality of our relationships either make our lives or destroy our lives, and the lives of those around us.