Abigail: the Peacemaker

Abigail: The Peacemaker

The Surprise Hero

• Yet she becomes a biblical model of conflict resolution — stepping in with humility, wisdom, and courage.
  + Click to add your own note

Big Idea:

• God can use anyone — even the “unlikely” — to bring peace, protect others, and turn anger into blessing when we handle conflict His way.
  + Click to add your own note

1 Samuel 25:1–42

Now Samuel died, and all Israel gathered for his funeral. They buried him at his house in Ramah. Then David moved down to the wilderness of Maon. 2 There was a wealthy man from Maon who owned property near the town of Carmel. He had 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats, and it was sheep-shearing time.

3 This man’s name was Nabal, and his wife, Abigail, was a sensible and beautiful woman. But Nabal, a descendant of Caleb, was crude and mean in all his dealings.

4 While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours!

7 “ ‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8 Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’ ”

9 When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited.

10 Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?”

Be kind and generous when you are given the chance

12 David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word.

13 David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.

14 One of the servants told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. 15 Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. 16 Night and day they were a wall around us the whole time we were herding our sheep near them. 17 Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”

Resolving Conflict takes Courage.

18 Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. 19 Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.

When conflict arises don’t wait to act.  Time allows things to fester.  IT is like when an apple starts to go bad and is with other apples, if you don’t remove it immediately it will infect the other apples.  Our brains are like that.  When we are offended at someone for something and we don’t deal with it immediately, our thought produce other thoughts that begin to find other reasons why to be upset and mad at someone.

20 As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21 David had just said, “It’s been useless—all my watching over this fellow’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good.

1 pet 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

22 May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”

Peace Making is an Attitude!

23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. 26 And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.

Proverbs 15:1 — “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

James 1:19–20 — “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

• Conflict is like fire — add fuel, it spreads; add water, it stops.
• Abigail used food, humility, and respect — not sarcasm, demands, or lectures.
  + Click to add your own note

28 “Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live.

• Humility Opens the Doors for Peace
  + Click to add your own note

The gift in conflict resolution is always humility.

Pride locks us into fights. Humility opens the door to resolution.

Philippians 2:3–4 — “Do nothing out of selfish ambition… in humility value others above yourselves.”

1 Peter 5:5 — “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Quote: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” — C.S. Lewis

“Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live.

Taking responsibility for something in seeking reconciliation is paramount to healthy conflict resolution

29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. 30 When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, 31 my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.”

She points to the higher call and the value of making peace today for Davids future.

32 David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. 33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.”

Those who make easy decisions live hard lives. Those who make hard decisions live easy lives.

35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.”

• “Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” — Ronald Reagan

Matthew 5:9 — “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Proverbs 12:20 — “Those who promote peace have joy.”

Handling conflict well not only prevents disaster — it creates blessing for you and everyone around you.

Quote “When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” — William Arthur Ward

Matt 18:15-17 Message Bible

“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.

Can you accept repentance.   Can you offer forgiveness.  Can you repent, can you humble yourself.

Forgiveness does not always mean reconciling.

The greatest lesson we can get from this story is the fact that God knows that we tend to get into a lot of conflict.  Our ego, our pride, internal judgement, anger, the hurt caused by others who have the same problem. All the messes that we make or get thrown into. He does not just tell us to get better.  He goes to the heart of the matter.  He through his grace offers us the power of transformation.  And it is an inside job.  He changes our heart.  Through his grace and forgiveness, he offers us peace in the midst of conflict ifd we simply give our lives to him.

Ultimately the road to peace is only discovered in a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ and his free gift of forgiveness.