Proverbs 18:21 | The Power of Appreciation

Big idea: Healthy relationships thrive on genuine appreciation and verbal affirmation of each other’s qualities, both inner and outer.

1. Why is there Power in Appreciation? Appreciation:
2. Heals (Proverbs 12:25, 15:4)- Science proves the overwhelming biblical evidence that a culture of appreciation has a massive physiological impact on our bodies.
3. Builds
   1. Builds others up: Eph. 4:29- Application: See what happens when you specifically recognize the small things at work and at home.
   2. Builds me up: Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
   3. Builds us up: Heb.10:25 Let us encourage one another. We are better together. Appreciation creates unbreaking horizontal social capital.
4. How to Cultivate It
   1. Be Specific, Not Generic: This shows you’re paying attention and truly value their contribution.
   2. Be Timely, Not Delayed: Proverbs 15:23
   3. Be Sincere, Not Flattering: Proverbs 29:5 Flattery is insincere praise given for self-serving reasons. Appreciation is genuine and focused on the other person.
   4. Be Consistent, Not Occasional: Song of Songs: The constant dialogue of appreciation suggests it’s an ongoing rhythm, not a one-time event.
   5. Be Bold, Not Silent: Song of Songs: The lovers are unashamedly expressive in their affection and praise. Don’t assume people “just know” Say it. Write it.

1. Share a time when someone’s encouragement healed you or gave you fresh hope. How did it change your attitude or actions?
2. Which proverb about words (e.g., Proverbs 12:25; 15:4; 16:24) speaks most to you, and why? How can you apply it in your daily interactions?
3. What keeps you from speaking appreciation regularly (e.g., busyness, fear of awkwardness)? How can you overcome that barrier this week?
4. Who in your life could benefit from your encouragement or mentorship? What’s one encouraging word or action you can offer them this week?
5. Maybe write each person’s name down on a page, write one thing you appreciate and pass it to the next person. Do this for each person. (or see challenge below)

God wants our words to heal, encourage, and build up—like sweet honey for the soul—because our speech shapes how we love one another and grow together.

Questions for Parents & Kids:

1. “What is one kind thing you can say today that would make someone’s heart glad?”
2. “Who in our family or at school needs encouragement right now, and how can we bless them with our words?”

Family Activity:
Start a “Family Gratitude and Appreciation Jar.” Each day, write one thing you appreciate about someone else and read them all together on Sunday. Have a dedicated gratitude and appreciation time. I try to do it at night, when putting kids to bed.

Challenge: Believe it or not, God has an opinion about you and would love for you to know what He thinks! Jesus even says that “my sheep hear my voice”. How? It happens through experience that comes from purposeful practice! Most times we don’t hear because we never listen. But how do I know if it is Jesus and not my own thoughts or the devil?! Good question. Satan loves to insert thoughts. That’s why we judge every thought through the lens of scripture condemnation. It will always align with God’s word and NEVER with condemnation (Romans 8:1). It might be corrective but never condemning. Here’s a simple, Spirit-led flow you can use if you want to hear God’s “opinion” on your life—His gentle, corrective, and encouraging voice:

1. Set the Scene
   • Find a quiet place free of distractions and bring journal/notebook and Bible.
2. Center in Worship
   • Spend 2–3 minutes praising God—sing a short chorus, read Psalm 100 or 103 aloud. Maybe even pray the words of those verses.
   • This reminds you whose voice you’re seeking and softens your heart.
3. Invite the Spirit
   • Pray: “Holy Spirit, open my ears to hear Your gentle whisper. Help me see myself through Your eyes.” Then ask: “Jesus, would you speak your opinion to me?
   • Wait in silent expectancy, push away distracting thoughts and journal your immediate thoughts that come to mind and keep writing until the well goes dry!
4. Scripture Alignment
   • If you are still struggling, read a passage where God speaks to His people’s character (e.g., Psalm 139:23-24; Micah 6:8; Ephesians 4:1-3).
   • Ask: “Lord, what of this do I need to hear for my life right now?” and begin to journal what you hear or even what JUMPS off the page from scripture.
5. Reflective Questions & Journaling
   • “Where am I walking closely with You? Where am I drifting?”
   • “What attitudes or actions grieve You?”
   • “What good thing do You delight in that I can develop?”
   • Write down any impressions, verses, or feelings that surface.
6. Listen & Discern
   • Sit quietly for another minute, reviewing your notes and asking, “Is there anything more?” and if a thought or Scripture keeps returning, underline it—it may be God’s primary “word” to you.
7. Respond in Prayer
   • If God reveals sin or blind spots, confess it specifically: “Father, forgive me for ______. By Your grace, I’ll turn away.”
   • If He highlights a strength or calling, thank Him and ask for boldness to step into it.
8. Establish Next Steps
   • Identify 1–2 concrete actions (e.g., apologize, set a new habit, speak encouragement to someone, serve in a gifted area).
   • Pray for grace and accountability: “Lord, help me live this out. I’ll check back next week.” Close with a short prayer of gratitude, celebrating that God delights in you and cares enough to speak into your life.

Appreciation in the marketplace:

“Shout-out” recognition boards, peer-to-peer appreciation systems, regular team celebrations of wins, personal thank-you notes.

• Harvard had students write one sentence of appreciation each evening. In 2 weeks, their measured happiness rose by 25% and stress levels fell by 27%.
• Gallup showed that 37% of employees say “recognition” is the most memorable thing a manager can do.